Thursday, September 27, 2012

Lose Weight, Save a Model

We all know that models, in general, are unhealthily thin.  They can't eat anything but carrot sticks and celery, and sometimes if they have one carrot stick too many, they have to puke it up or risk losing their jobs.  They all have eating disorders.  Occasionally, one will starve herself to death, causing shocked and saddened hand-wringing in the media.

Why do they do this?  And why is anorexia considered beautiful in the fashion industry?

The simple, two-word answer is: fat women.  As the general population gets fatter and fatter, models get skinnier and skinnier.  The opposite happened in the Paleolithic.  Women at that time were more likely to be thin because of unreliable food sources.  Venus figurines, on the other hand, were pretty darn hefty.  That was the height of beauty then because it was more difficult to gain excess weight than to be slender.  Being heavy was rare, and thus, desirable.

This leads to the question: what can we do about too-skinny models and their eating disorders and occasional deaths?  The solution is very simple.  Fat women should lose weight.  If you are a fat woman, you should realize that for every bite of Snickers bar you take, a model somewhere is being required by her agent to eat one less piece of celery.  Every 200 Little Debbie snack cakes you eat cause the death of a model by eating disorder.

Please, fat women, do the socially responsible thing.  Stop stuffing your faces and causing untold misery and death.  Lose weight, save a model!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Blatant Sexism - But There Won't Be a Lawsuit

Virgin Australia and Qantas asked two men to  switch seats with women so the evil men wouldn't molest, kill, eat, or otherwise harm the unaccompanied children seated next to them.  Apparently, the airlines were unaware of any cases of women ever harming children in any way.

Of course, there probably won't be lawsuits over these instances of egregious discrimination.  If a male airline employee smiled at a woman and said, "Hi, thank you for travelling with us!  By the way, that's a really great hairdo", some parasitic lawyer would immediately jump on the case.  Sexism!  The traumatized victim needs millions of dollars!  Men are generally expected to "just get over it".

I hope these men do sue.  Maybe they can make it a class-action lawsuit (if such things exist in Australia) on behalf of all men who have flown on these two airlines and been asked to switch seats since this discriminatory policy was introduced.

Monday, August 6, 2012

A Submissive Wife?

I was surprised to learn a couple years ago that my family thinks I'm the dominant partner in my marriage.  As far as I can tell, they have two reasons for thinking this.  1) I don't let my domineering mother control me.  If she takes things too far, I push back.  Hard.  2) Physically, I resemble said domineering mother, who does wear the pants in her marriage.

It seems nowadays if you aren't a pushover who submits to any and everyone, people assume you're a typical modern woman who dominates her husband.  They don't realize that submission can be both selective and subtle.  A woman can follow her husband's leadership, while refusing to be controlled by her mother, her friend, her coworker, etc.  Her submission to her husband may not take the form of jumping to obey barked commands.  He may lead, and she may follow, without this being noticeable to an outside observer.  Really, the couple may not think of it as domination and submission at all.  He may just be the one with more of a vision, a plan for their family, their relationship, and their future.  She follows because she trusts his judgement, not because she is a frightened doormat.

Is this still truly submission, or has the term been so distorted by the extremes of the BDSM community as to be irredeemable?

I don't know.  I consider myself to be mildly submissive because I do follow my husband's lead, and I feel more comfortable and at peace when he is clearly in charge.  Would I do either BDSM or an excessive, religious version of submission that denies the woman a fair say in the course of her own life?  No.  I have too much self-respect for that.

Maybe what you call it doesn't matter as much as the fact that it works for your relationship.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Hormones for CEO

Yahoo hired a pregnant woman as CEO last week (article here).  This is proof positive that their Board of Directors is off their collective rocker.  Did anyone on the board consider that their new CEO, Marissa Mayer, is going to give birth in three months?  After that, she will have the postpartum recovery period, and up to a year of hormonal craziness.  All this, on top of adjusting to her extremely demanding new job.

Why didn't anyone put the brakes on this very poor decision?  Were they really so eager to be seen as the politically correct heroes who hired a pregnant woman for the CEO position that they are willing to risk the health of the company?  For their employees' and shareholders' sakes, I hope they have in place some procedure for working around her after she's had the baby and is an insanely hormonal bitch.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

How a Woman Can Rev Up Her Sex Drive

Here are some good ways to keep female desire high:

1. Read romance novels with steamy sex scenes.

2. Look at erotic art or a sexually-themed blog ( is all about sex, and includes erotic art).

3. Run erotic fantasies through your mind when you are away from your husband and have a few minutes to do so.

4. Buy lingerie for use during sex - and wear it!  It can be impractical and scratchy; it just needs to look good and make you feel like a sex kitten.  You won't have it on long anyway.

5. Buy lingerie that is comfortable enough to wear to bed.  I personally like the slips sold at Victoria's Secret.  Wear one of these even when you are not trying to get laid.  The idea is to feel sexier in general.

6. If your husband is not available for sex when you feel horny, take care of yourself.  If your desire is ignored, it will lessen.  You have to feed your sex drive for it grow.

7. Most importantly, never say no when your husband wants sex.  (Unless you are ill or absolutely exhausted.)  All those wonderful chemicals that happen in your brain during sex bond you to your husband and make you want to have sex with him more.

In short, think sexy thoughts, look at sexy stuff, and have lots of sexy time.  Sounds simple to me.  And quite enjoyable too!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Stupid Heroines in Romance Novels

Recently, I read yet another romance novel with a "strong" heroine who interjects herself into dangerous situations, in spite of her husband's explicit orders not to do so, because she decides he needs her help.  Of course, he has to rescue her in the end, but only after she has solved the original problem for him.  He ends up realizing her true worth and giving her his respect and admiration.  Yeah, right.  For most of the book, I kept thinking, "She needs a spanking.  Stop with the empty threats to pack her off to the country.  Man up and spank her already!"

For those who don't like the term "man up", how many times have you seen a spoiled brat of a woman who clearly could have done with a spanking and would have enjoyed being the one to give it to her?  The story was set in the 19th century.  The man would not have gone to jail for it.  It was a failure on his part not to rein in his wife after her propensity for stupidity and putting herself in the middle of violent encounters became apparent.  Telling him to man up would be appropriate here.

But then, the book was written by a woman who clearly has been influenced by feminist idiocy.  There's no other way to explain why she thinks a woman can face a man twice her size in a fight with any hope of winning.  Even she ought to be able to see though that a spanking or two would have improved both the book and the heroine.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Definition of a Good Girl

A good girl saves herself for the man who is willing to commit to her.  She doesn't sleep around while waiting for him to arrive.  She doesn't have oral or anal sex while technically remaining a virgin based solely on the fact that she still has an intact hymen.

After she is married, a good girl has sex with her husband willingly and often.  She tries new things in the bedroom (or the living room, the kitchen, the shower, the car, the backyard under the stars, etc.).  She makes every reasonable effort to please her husband in bed, to fulfill his desires and keep him satisfied.  In turn, if she has married a kind, generous man, he will reward her by making sure her sexual needs are met as well.

A married good girl won't withhold herself from her husband.  She proves her chasteness by remaining faithful to her spouse, by absolutely never having an affair, no matter what or who the enticement may be.  She doesn't prove it by refusing marital sex.

A woman who is cold to her husband in bed isn't a good girl; she's a bad wife.