I was surprised to learn a couple years ago that my family thinks I'm the dominant partner in my marriage. As far as I can tell, they have two reasons for thinking this. 1) I don't let my domineering mother control me. If she takes things too far, I push back. Hard. 2) Physically, I resemble said domineering mother, who does wear the pants in her marriage.
It seems nowadays if you aren't a pushover who submits to any and everyone, people assume you're a typical modern woman who dominates her husband. They don't realize that submission can be both selective and subtle. A woman can follow her husband's leadership, while refusing to be controlled by her mother, her friend, her coworker, etc. Her submission to her husband may not take the form of jumping to obey barked commands. He may lead, and she may follow, without this being noticeable to an outside observer. Really, the couple may not think of it as domination and submission at all. He may just be the one with more of a vision, a plan for their family, their relationship, and their future. She follows because she trusts his judgement, not because she is a frightened doormat.
Is this still truly submission, or has the term been so distorted by the extremes of the BDSM community as to be irredeemable?
I don't know. I consider myself to be mildly submissive because I do follow my husband's lead, and I feel more comfortable and at peace when he is clearly in charge. Would I do either BDSM or an excessive, religious version of submission that denies the woman a fair say in the course of her own life? No. I have too much self-respect for that.
Maybe what you call it doesn't matter as much as the fact that it works for your relationship.